“Alright, now one with your daughter, Senator.

“Alright, now one with your daughter, Senator.

Now that I think about it, I don’t believe

Now that I think about it, I don’t believe

I didn’t want to leave my loved ones high-and-dry

I didn’t want to leave my loved ones high-and-dry

Damn, the illustrations in these new textbooks

Damn, the illustrations in these new textbooks

Although most women get more than enough

Although most women get more than enough

When Dad gave my little brother a knockup

When Dad gave my little brother a knockup

I guess I’m the old-fashioned kind of librarian…

I guess I’m the old-fashioned kind of librarian…

“So there we were, completely–”

“So there we were, completely–”

Just as I was enjoying this slut’s throat,

Just as I was enjoying this slut’s throat,

When my family moved to France, there was

When my family moved to France, there was

My sisters and I had a blast at Freedom World

My sisters and I had a blast at Freedom World

“Hey, you.” The girl glanced over, trying

“Hey, you.” The girl glanced over, trying

One of my students always drops by after

One of my students always drops by after

Whenever I need some peace and quiet, I take

Whenever I need some peace and quiet, I take

Glancing back at me, she smiled. “Oh,

Glancing back at me, she smiled. “Oh,

On my 20th birthday, my parents held a huge

On my 20th birthday, my parents held a huge

When my daughter graduated, I wanted to give

When my daughter graduated, I wanted to give

“Hi there, Mark! The usual today?” The

“Hi there, Mark! The usual today?” The

“Hey, wait. Come here for a sec,” I called

“Hey, wait. Come here for a sec,” I called

When free use started to spread across the

When free use started to spread across the

On my 18th birthday, I went out on the town

On my 18th birthday, I went out on the town

“Uh, I.. Excuse me..?” I turned to see

“Uh, I.. Excuse me..?” I turned to see

I was out grocery shopping the other day

I was out grocery shopping the other day

My girlfriend is the most impatient person

My girlfriend is the most impatient person

“AaaAAAH… Dammit… Slow DOWN

“AaaAAAH… Dammit… Slow DOWN

Halfway through skyping my girlfriend, I

Halfway through skyping my girlfriend, I

“See man? I told you pregnant girls are

“See man? I told you pregnant girls are

“Oh look, another little brat in my house…

“Oh look, another little brat in my house…

“Hey, look over there,” my buddy

“Hey, look over there,” my buddy

Being an agent isn’t so bad. Performers

Being an agent isn’t so bad. Performers

My aunt’s always been the monogamous

My aunt’s always been the monogamous

My school’s Chubby Chaser club picked

My school’s Chubby Chaser club picked

Every summer, my family meets up at the lake

Every summer, my family meets up at the lake

I try to send Brian a selfie every time his

I try to send Brian a selfie every time his